‘Magnificent! You haven’t lived until you’ve seen the sun through the rings of Saturn!’ cries astronaut Steve, just before he’s turned into a melting space zombie (the film’s budget is so low, they couldn’t afford an actual shot of the ringed planet). Somehow Steve (Alex Rebar) gets back to Earth, escapes the NASA base and begins to run amok on the dusty back-roads of Texas.
Without a doubt, The Incredible Melting Man is one of the worst films ever made. The main reason being that it’s the worst edited film ever made. At a succinct 80 minutes, the film is mind bogglingly boring. There’s an average pause of five seconds between any exchange of dialogue. Random shots of the lumbering space zombie and the bloody remains of his victims must add about 20 minutes to the running time.
In the film’s most unlikely sequence, an elderly couple on their way to a dinner party decide to pull off onto a dirt road, in the middle of the night, to pick lemons from an orchard. ‘Why?’ you ask. Because lemons will make the most delightful party gifts! Moments later, the two geezers are gobbled up by zombie Steve.
If there’s anything resembling good here, it’s early work from two cinematic masters. First off is Rick Baker, the 7 time Oscar winning god of special effects make-up, showcasing blood, body parts and gallons of what looks like custard dripping off Steve’s melting face. Second, in an all too surreal cameo, is director Jonathan Demme, playing one of Steve’s unfortunate victims. To think, just 13 years later, he’ll be directing a little ditty called The Silence of the Lambs.
This new Blu-ray release brings stunning clarity to every mediocre moment. Without a gang of game friends to heckle this doozy, you’ll be so bored, your face will melt off.