It turns out it’s not easy making a room full of people laugh. What a revelation that is. When I was invited a while back to take part in Chris O’Neill and Harun Musho’d’s morning panel show A Political Breakfast I agreed, thinking it would be a different Fringe experience to write about, to be on the other side of the performer/ audience divide. I said yes and then cracked on with other things and promptly forgot about it, until I got an email from Chris as I was hoofing round Assembly Gardens one night before heading to a show. Could I do the next morning? ‘Er, yes?’ I said tentatively, worried I would have no time to prepare. Not a problem according to Chris, just rock up.
So, next morning, coffee in hand, I turn up to Burrito ‘n’ Shake on South Bridge where I meet Chris and Harun and the other panelists, Kelli Dunham, a friendly American who’s performing at Peter Buckley Hill’s Free Fringe, and a very nice, very softly-spoken surrealist comic called Stephen Catling. Expecting few punters this time of the morning, I feel fairly relaxed. Then more and more people begin to file in, and they seem to keep coming. This is actually a fairly small crowd according to Chris.
We settle in downstairs before an audience of around 25-30 in what is clearly a room being used for storage. There’s a safe sitting on the floor for some reason. What’s in there? we ponder. Maybe it’s like the global standard kilogram, Le Grand K in Paris and the safe contains the platonic ideal of a burrito. I discover Stephen has disrobed to a certain degree and is dressed as a bee. Either he’s promoting his show, or the girl from the Blind Melon video has had a horrible time of it in the last few decades. Is there a brief look of panic from Chris? If so, he’s smothered it quickly. There is some definite incredulity in the crowd though. Presently, we’re introduced to the audience and then Irishman Chris asks me my opinion on the issue of Ireland post-Brexit.
Fuck.
My confidence evaporates and my sphincter clenches to the point where I’m pretty sure I can taste my own arsehole. I stammer out some gibberish about Celtic solidarity and then deflate. Englishman Stephen fares little better. Kelli reaches surer ground by pointing out her status as an American means any disdain she shows to UK politics would be somewhat hypocritical. Chris and Harun swoop in to mop up and the audience is consulted.
As things progress, I relax again and find myself on surer ground. It’s more of a free-for-all than I expected. The audience gets to chip in as much as those of us on what could only generously be considered a stage, and there is no sense of any impending heckle. I decide to approach proceedings with the great bag of gobshitery I would bring to any conversation. The topic switches to Italian authorities denying the use of the Colosseum for the mooted tech-bro twat-off between Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg. I make some basic jokes about Musk’s catastrophic time at Twitter, Zuckerberg’s newly ripped physique and the sad lack of lions at the fight, and get some laughs. Oh my. This is why everyone does it. It’s thrilling.
We all riff for a bit more on the subject and we take some questions from the crowd. A pleasant Canadian woman gives us her take on the state of the UK. This is her last show before she jets home later today. Fair play to her; not exactly finishing her Fringe experience on a crescendo but it could be far worse. We all have a wee back and forth on how to solve Brexit. One man in the audience makes actually a very sensible suggestion. Sir, this is a comedy show. Then it’s all over, far too quickly. After five minutes I’d simply forgotten to be nervous and just enjoyed myself immensely.
Chris and Harun thank everyone and all involved hand out flyers. I plug The Wee Review with gusto – I very rarely get the chance to big ourselves up to so many people in one go – usually it’s to one politely blank performer at a time at the Gilded Balloon launch. Then I head out into the rain in search of actual breakfast, since a man can’t dine on politics and applause alone.
A Political Breakfst runs until Sun 27 Aug 2023 at PBH’s Free Fringe @Burrito ‘n’ Shake – Downstairs Room at 09:30