Once, Jim Jones was in one of the great overlooked bands, Thee Hypnotics. They played loud, scuzzy garage punk influenced by psychedelia and the proto-punk of The Seeds and Velvet Underground. Nowadays, sadly, he seems like a cartoon version of himself: where he once screamed like a man possessed, he now just grunts monosyllabic, tired retro rawk.

Produced by The Black Crowes’ Chris Robinson, the All Stars strut around making music that sounds like a complete rock ‘n’ roll parody. No cliché is left out here; parping Motown brass, trite “party all night” lyrics and rejected Chuck Berry riffs. All of which would be fine, were some energy and rawness on display, but it’s both utterly toothless and totally overproduced. This is Jools Holland ready.

‘Make It Rain’ is all teenage Hendrix posturing – embarrassing when you consider how old the band members are – so cringe-inducing. ‘Exiled’, as the title suggests, attempts to essay The Stones but seems like a wedding band attempting to live out some kind of flaccid, patchouli-reeking Jagger Performance wank fantasy.

Even when there’s finally a musical volte face halfway through, in the shape of ‘Bekolah’, it sounds like lounge music at an Essex swingers’ party, all cheese fondue, pineapple on sticks and orange swirly beanbags. Essentially, it’s where rock ‘n’ roll goes to die, and I can’t believe a single word of it. Truly embarrassing fare, considering it’s 2026. Don’t drink their Kool Aid.