Ben Stiller / United States / 2016 / 102min
On general release

If expectations for Zoolander 2 are as low as a limbo dancing contest with Gary Coleman, then, as it turns out, those reservations are well-founded.

The main issue with this sequel to Stiller’s 2001 satirical comedy is that it has nothing to say – an odd criticism when you consider that the first touched on topics like whether saying “earth to…” constituted intergalactic communication or not. However, the original at least had a very clear viewpoint.

Its plot centred on the fashion industry’s attempts to derail child labour laws in Malaysia. Well-known figures from the fashion world were painted as Bond-esque villains, hiding in the shadows, dishing out executions to tip the political balance in their favour. Yes, it was silly, but it was saying something. Compare it to Z2’s cameo-laden finale in which the real fashion icons are invited to join a back-slapping session, and the filmmaker’s point of view starts to feel hollow.

Without such a clear focus, the result is a sequel untethered from anything resembling reality. Eternal youth and human sacrifices feel like a film grasping at a plot, especially when the villain reveals the mythology is all made up anyway.

The film’s flaws are pasted over with pointless celebrity cameos and failed attempts at meta-humour. Characters that blatantly signal their emotional exposition isn’t a joke, it’s lazy writing.

And that brings us to Benedict Cumberbatch. He plays (albeit briefly) the androgynous model “All”. The point of the scene, one assumes, is to show Zoolander’s inability to grasp the modern fashion world, and indeed, society. But, unsurprisingly, it feels misjudged. The transgender community could find this offensive, even if it’s played as wrong.

And when you consider the fact that Owen Wilson’s entire plotline as Hansel focuses on his relationship with members of a pansexual orgy (including a goat, a gimp and Kiefer Sutherland), then none of the characters’ views feel consistent, even in the admittedly ridiculous world the film creates.

There are occasional flashes of the humour that made the first what it was (the “slash” conversation with Billy Zane is a worthy successor to the aforementioned “earth to…” scene) but they’re few and far between. It feels like the writers were throwing out jokes in the hope that they’d not only stick, but congeal into a faintly tangible plot.

Seeing Stiller, Wilson and Ferrell return to those familiar roles is enough to plaster a smile on people’s faces for the majority of the runtime. Unfortunately, despite what the filmmakers might think, that’s not enough. In a film that urges its main character to remember who he is in order to flourish, it’s a shame the filmmakers didn’t learn the same lesson.