THE PRE-CURTAIN MUSIC
A note to the staff of the cinemas housing the festival films: What’s with the choice of music playing in the auditorium before the film starts? Who in the audience is thinking ‘Hmm, nothing will get me more in the mood for this esoteric existential Latvian film than a few tracks of broad earnest splurge from the likes of Coldplay and The Corrs’? Was it just echoing through from the neighboring screens about to show Sex and the City, or does the cinema DJ believe people who appreciate off-stream films only have enough good taste for one art form? Do you think Modeselektor precede their gigs with a screening of Love Actually? This fifteen minute delay seems long enough without Chris Martin satirising my emotions. Next year I want a comprehensive juke-box in the foyer and a bag of loose change in my pocket, or perhaps just some ear-plugs.
Ending the festival with Faintheart is akin to a classical pianist ending his concert by slamming his ass down on the keys and taking a shit for all to smell.
WEATHER
It wouldn’t be a thorough Edinburgh festival report without a comment on that trusty staple of awkward talk-filler, the weather. We’re not expecting to surprise you when we say that it’s been torrential rain all the way. It’s said that rain is God crying over the violence happening below to wash the sins away, but we checked the police report; very little violence has occurred in Edinburgh since the festival started, save for the minor incidents of an old man being robbed of his false teeth by an escaped meerkat, and a new-born baby being shot repeatedly in the head with a nail-gun. Now, many say that the rain-as-God’s-tears theory is easily disproved by the fact that the Middle East is the most violent place on earth yet is, of course, drier than an old ladies front bum; but we’re choosing to ignore this theory on the grounds that it stops us being silly. So in regards to Edinburgh’s weather this week, we conclude that either A, God is a big crybaby or 2, he doesn’t exist and the rain is simply due to physical atmospheric circumstance. We’re going with A, God is a big crybaby ‘cause it seems kinda nice.
Finally:
Despite the fact that ending the festival with Faintheart is akin to a classical pianist ending his concert by slamming his ass down on the keys and taking a shit for all to smell, the after taste of the festival feels relatively pleasant. The decision to make EIFF more independent by placing it before the Fringe seems to have worked with the box office boasting full houses even to the lesser known, foreign films and all the awards were about as just as awards get. Other than that, it’s the usual story of the good and crap being the same in the avant-garde as it is in the mainstream. So as long as the good keeps coming with the bad us ugly critics will be returning next year…
Michael Powell Award for Best New British Feature Film, sponsored by the UK Film Council
SOMERS TOWN – Directed by Shane Meadows
PPG Award for Best Performance in a British Feature Film
ROBERT CARLYLE – Summer
Standard Life Audience Award
MAN ON WIRE – Directed by James Marsh
Best Documentary Award
ENCOUNTERS AT THE END OF THE WORLD – Directed by Werner Herzog
Skillset New Directors Award
MARIANNA PALKA – Good Dick
UK Film Council Award for Best British Short Film
SON – Directed by Daniel Mulloy
European Film Academy Short Film 2008 – Prix UIP
2 BIRDS – Directed by Rúnar Rúnarsson
Scottish Short Documentary Award supported by Baillie Gifford
CHRISTMAS WITH DAD – Directed by Conor McCormack
McLaren Award for New British Animation in partnership with BBC Film Network
SPACE TRAVEL ACCORDING TO JOHN – Directed by Jamie Stone & Anders Jedenfors.
Mirrorball Best British Music Video Award
HAPPINESS (Goldfrapp) – Directed by Dougal Wilson