There aren’t many comedians who can make Janey Godley look like a shrinking violet. Jeanette Cousland can. If the Dundonian “ASBO gran” has any boundaries, they’re not in operation today.
Less a traditional stand-up routine than an unapologetic warts ‘n’ all public airing of some very dirty laundry, this first full length show is filthy, excruciating (in a good way) and highly memorable.
“I was aff ma heid on eccies” is a typical story opener. The police make an appearance, so too the bailiffs. Every man in the audience visibly winces when she reveals what she did to her fella who wouldn’t put his boabie away at a party. We get the inside story on her gynecological surgery. We get the greatest hits of her sexual conquests, including the one who gave her a baby and VD, and the whirlwind marriage which started in a lift with two bags of carry-oot.
Godley is inclined to tell stories of the fake gun she kept behind the bar of her pub, Cousland is wont to feel stabby towards partners, hence the nickname “Machete Hettie”. There are probably many, many more stories where these came from. Possibly a documentary. Definitely a Take A Break cover.
This afternoon gig is packed with friends and family who give her a rousing welcome. There’s no danger of being picked on. She’s got too many anecdotes to get off her chest. Besides, it’s not that kind of show. It’s not a polished routine, it’s your mad ‘ead mate entertaining you down the pub by recounting their maddest antics. Raw. “Tell the one about the screwdriver again,” you may (or may) not be shouting.